28 September 2006

The Grass Isn't Always Greener, But It Could Be

Mentally things have been pretty heavy the last couple of weeks, and are going to be pretty crazy over the next few weeks to come. Even with all of the help we've been getting, it's still pretty darn hard to manage this household & keep it all together. But, there's always something around the corner to remind you how good things are, relatively speaking. I went on a walk with a new friend today, and left feeling grateful that we found each other. We have so much in common with our children & their difficulties, and so few people to talk to who can even vaguely understand.

But the major thing I took away from our stroller* walk around the state park was how grateful I am for Avery. It's hard sometimes to have Avery around to compare Jordan against (Avery was crawling at nine months, Avery was sitting at six months, etc), but I never really appreciated that at least we have the chance to be "normal" parents, too. We get to enjoy Avery as she hits new milestones and does amazing things. To parents whose first child is a special needs child they are often robbed of the "normal" things that come along with parenting, and that in itself has to be mourned & survived. It's the loss of a dream, an imagination that built up in the parents' minds for at least 9 months, some for years. This mourning is normal for all of us, but I can imagine it can be even more difficult for people who meet these challenges right out of the starting gate. Or, possibly it's easier, because they don't know anything different and don't have another child to compare to.

So, who knows where the greenest grass is?

*Jordan's maiden voyage in the new stroller.

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