Striking A Balance

So, it's finally December 1st. I've been so anxious about December that I've gone a bit crazy. In an effort to avoid the chaos, confusion, and stress of the month, I transfered it to this week instead. I'm exhausted, have a hellova cold, and am still plugging away on my lists of things to "get done."

Gotta get my stuff done. Write a holiday letter, get the girls' Christmas pictures taken, decorate, plan 2 birthday parties, buy Christmas & birthday presents, and catch up on all the little tasks I've been ignoring for the last few months (mainly get all my pictures from January to October organized and labelled before all the holiday shots start filling my files -- I've never fallen behind like this before, yikes!). In addition, I've still seem to spend way too much time on the phone with doctors and especially the insurance company (they don't make it easy).

For most of the last year I've felt like I'm busy all day and have nothing to show for it by night. Where does my time go? Some days it's not so bad, but other days it's soooooo frustrating. Avery takes the normal amount of almost-3-year-old attention, and Jordan, of course, is still like a newborn (with a feeding tube and alot of medicines & supplements), so I practically never have a minute without tending to one of them. Yes, this is the life of motherhood, and I'm certainly not the first person to go through this. But it certainly can be frustrating at times, as many of you know.

But sometimes enough is enough -- I warned the troops that I was putting my nose to the grindstone, and this week was going to be all about me and my lists (yes, plural, for different topics). I just can't bear to head into the holiday season, not to mention 2007, totally unprepared. And with our upcoming trip to Orange County & Indio coming in just a few days, I've got to get my ducks in a row!!!

Of course, that means that this week has basically sucked. My mom has been here everyday helping out (see photo below), while I run & run & run to "get stuff done," while still trying to carve out time for Avery & Jordan so they don't think I've forgotten about them. Maybe I should have paced myself better over the last couple of months, and perhaps I should just let things go a little more. I've already dropped my annual goodie-baking day (yes, one day a year, I like to bake & fill up goodie plates for friends & family). The holiday letter is a maybe/maybe not this year (especially because of the blog). And I've officially given up December gloegg (mulled wine) parties for birthday parties. But some things just can't be forgotten: getting and decorating a fresh tree, shopping for gifts, taking Christmas pictures of Avery & Jordan, celebrating our anniversary (not in the hospital having a baby this year), and tending to the end of 2006.

Now it's Friday night, I'm up too late again, and I'm already anxious about finishing up things this weekend. I keep crossing things off my lists slightly faster than I add to them. I hope it will pay off, & that I'll be able to enjoy the rest of the month a little more. I will enjoy the desert, Devon's office holiday party (on the Queen Mary in Long Beach), Disneyland (with Avery), and visiting friends & family while we vacation. Either that, or I'll sleep for a week straight while Grandpa Earl & Grandma Linda tend to their grandchildren.

Jordan bundled up after one of her numerous baths over the last few days. Boy does she stink when she's barfing (from her cold). Unfortunately, a bath only does so much, and brushing her 3 teeth & tongue is a challenge in and of itself! At least she's cute about it, but both of us could all do without a cold this week.