Surprise -- Half Way There . . .

And now an update from behind the scenes -- Avery & Jordan are getting a baby brother for their birthday/Christmas (yes, another December baby for the Rowes!). I'm finally feeling brave enough to start talking about this publicly, although frankly, I'm still scared to death. . . .

Yes, we did find out the gender of the baby this time. After all the surprises Jordan presented us with, I've really lost my gusto for surprises with babies. In fact, I want to know everything, right now. Unfortunately, because Jordan has never been diagnosed with any specific disease, syndrome, or disorder, there's nothing to go looking for with the little mister. Well, almost nothing. The only thing we can do is monitor the baby's brain growth every few weeks (since we now know what parts of Jordan's brain didn't grow right), and as the pregnancy goes on, my doctors will be watching me for polyhydramnios (which I had with Jordan, and we later understood happened because she wasn't swallowing properly in utero).

So, for the past 4.5 months, I've been living appointment to appointment, waiting for this "big" day -- the detailed anatomy scan, with an emphasis on brain development. After a very long session with the ultrasound technician, she had the perinatologist come in and look for himself for awhile. He focused in on the brain stem, cerebellum, the corpus callosum, and the overall circumference of the brain, and said things are looking perfect at this point. They also measured legs, arms, fingers, toes, eye socket distances, the heart, bladder, kidneys, diaphram, thoracic cavity, spine, and probably a few other things as well, and it all looks good.

Of course this should have provided some relief, but really, in the end, it made it worse. Despite things being fine today, the perinatologist wants me back at 24 weeks to follow up and see if there is anything progressive (i.e. deteriorating). Now they have baseline measurements, and according to the doctor, with most progressive diseases they don't see the "shrinking" until after 22 weeks. In addition, he wants me back at 30 weeks to start watching for polyhydramnios, which is when that should start to show up if there are swallowing difficulties.

I felt like I'd been kicked in the teeth after that, despite his reassurances that at this point, there's no reason to think that anything will go wrong. He's convinced that Jordan was a "lightening strike," and (statistically) whatever happened with her could never happen to us again.

Avery & Jordan's pediatrician tells me to relax when I get nervous, and to remember that we also have a perfectly healthy, smart 4.5 year old in Avery. But believe me, when you have an elephant in the room like Jordan, it's hard to see the rest. I don't think I'll quit being a nervous, anxious wreck until this baby is born & I can see for myself that everything will be okay -- no matter what the outcome.

Now, put on your imagination caps if you want to scroll through the ultrasound pics.

Profile from today (19.5 weeks)Legs (19.5 weeks)
Foot (19.5 weeks)
Hand (19.5 weeks)
Profile (17 weeks)
It's a BOY (17 weeks -- confirmed today at 19.5 weeks -- this one needs a lot of my imagination, but 2 ultrasound techs have said the same thing now, so they must be right, right?)
Profile (13 weeks)
Profile (9 weeks)